Shortly after playing Army of Two, I made my way over to Valves little section to try out Team Fortress 2. All of the little teaser videos and character profiles were really building up my excitement for the game. So it was really disappointing to realize five minutes into the first match that I would probably never play this game ever again.

Hit the jump to see why I might be the only person on Earth who doesn’t really think this game is all that special.  

[Update: Added gameplay video at the end of the story.]

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Since Halo 3 isn’t supposed to be out yet, this edition of Friday Night Fights will feature the same games as last week for the most part. Trust us though — that’s definitely not a bad thing. In case "10:00 p.m. EST" hasn’t already been burned into your memory, that’s when FNF is going to start.

Tonight will hopefully be an improvement though, because PC gaming is now supported! That’s right PC gamers, so long as you have a few Steam games and are able to work Ventrilo, you can join in on the madness.

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As somebody who lives in London, I can already confirm that it represents the many circles of Hell quite efficiently, but if you want to experience our demonic capital city for yourself, you might be interested to know that Hellgate London is now available to play in beta form. Naturally, not everyone can join Flagship’s RPG/FPS venture into a post-apocalyptic London, and if you want to give it a whirl, you’ll need to wait for lady luck to shine your way. 

Sign up to Hellgate’s official Web site for your opportunity to play the beta and start messing up demons with your faction of choice. Pay heed to the rules though, fair child … or die:

1. Signing up doesn’t guarantee an invite, but does raise your chances significantly in receiving one.

2. Please only enter your e-mail once, as duplicates may cause you to not receive an invite.

3. If you’re already part of the Alpha, don’t re-enter your e-mail – but tell all of your friends!

4. If you do receive an invite, keep in mind that all content is contractually under NDA until further notice.

If I had a PC that wasn’t blasted into senility by years of gratuitous pornography abuse, I’d definitely be tempted to take a shot at this, complete with threats that I’m from Destructoid and kind of a big deal so they better give me a beta key or they are finished. That really works for we associate editors and doesn’t lead to Hideo Kojima putting restraining orders on us, I promise. In all seriousness, Hellgate London looks like it might be a lot of fun and could be worth at least a beta run. If any of you try it out and get in, let us know what you think.

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Right, Aquaria. We’re still waiting patiently for the release of this game, and if you’re not along with us, you should just get off this short bus at the next stop. In this latest footage of the game provided by Bit-Blot, we get to see a bit of the item creation system, more combat and some previously unseen environments that maintain the game’s tradition of absolutely breathtaking 2D design. 

At this point in my monthly Aquaria updates I usually say something about how the game should be out now, damnit, and that the promised release date of Spring 2007 has long since come and gone. But having only last night talked up the nature of delay on Podtoid and its affect on overhyped but ultimately crappy games (Lair), I feel compelled to put aside my most burning desires and say the following: a game with this much promise deserves as much time in the oven as deemed necessary by its creators.

[Via Bit-Blot; thanks John!] 

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The picture you see before you probably does a better job of encapsulating the spirit of Leisure Suit Larry: Love for Sail! than words ever could. The character you see smiling in the foreground and plastered endlessly in the background is called — and I am not making this up — Where’s Dildo.

Yeah, it’s that kind of game.

Love for Sail, the seventh-in-name, sixth-in-actuality installment of the Leisure Suit Larry series, continues the franchise tradition in presenting potentially pornographic material in a completely benign, innuendo-laden sort of way. For those gamers whose experience with the LSL series involves the crapfest that was Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude, you really owe it to yourself to see Larry in his prime. A lot of the humor misses the mark and the game is a bit easy when compared to older Larry titles, but Love for Sail still remains an entertaining and frequently funny exercise in juvenile humor in an adventure game setting.

That, and there are hidden boobies.

[Special thanks to bhive01 for reminding me of this game’s existence.]

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I want this game. I want this game so bad. What more can I say? I just want this bloody game! I was very interested in the new Kingdom Under Fire before today’s latest trailer, but after viewing this very epic little clip, I’m drooling at the mouth. The beautiful visuals and magnificent art, the killer music, the fish n’ chips accents and, more importantly — it looks a bit like Dynasty Warriors! What? YES!

I’ve probably put a few people off with that, but I must say that what I know of Kingdom Under Fire: Circle of Doom seems to tell me that it will be far deeper than any current incarnation of Koei’s button masher. With four player online play and a whole host of interesting special abilities and spells, Circle of Doom should appeal to brainless hack n’ slashers and beardy RPG warlocks alike. I’m a little of both, so I must say that this is high on my list of priorities. I’d almost forgotten about it, too. 

Now … I just need to work out which bank to rob so I can afford yet another game on the DO WANT pile. I really don’t fancy going into male prostitution … again. 

[This trailer, and a whole  batch of ones today, came from TheGoldenDonut. Assume it’s from him for the next several posts I make this morning]

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We’ve got a whole night of fun ahead of us, folks. We’re whipping out Prey (thank BlindsideDork for the awesome post title), because quite frankly, it has one of the coolest shotguns ever and the equally fun ability to walk on ceilings and walls. Plus, it’s pretty inexpensive as far as Xbox 360 games go.

On top of that, there’s also going to be Call of Duty 4, Rainbow Six: Vegas, Warhawk, Team Fortress 2, and more!

Friday Night Fights starts at 10:00 p.m. EST, but if you’ve got nothing better to do (trust us, you don’t) then start up your gaming system of choice and check the comments section of this post to find people to play against.

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For all you PC gamers out there, Warmonger is a game I’ve not heard about before now, but it actually looks like it could be quite fun. Everybody loves destructible environments and Warmonger is promising massive ones. You can’t really sniff at that now, can you?

The game is set to be released for free in October, and aims to be the most destructible game ever made. The price is certainly right, and the above footage isn’t bad at all. Only a complete arse would want to argue against something like that. So don’t. 

[Thanks, Donut]

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The Real Time Strategy genre is second only to the First Person Shooter genre in terms of how often titles are released, regurgitated and rehashed with little to no innovation. Any RTS you pick up at your local games dealer will almost certainly resemble Starcraft/Command and Conquer/Total Annihilation to a stunning degree and while this provides strategy gamers with a comforting sense of reliability it also makes for a really dull gaming experience the 400th time you’ve built a base, created some units and sent them en masse on a rampage across the local countryside.

Contrary to the last two decades of traditional wisdom on how RTS titles should be made, Massive Entertainment, the developers behind World in Conflict, opted to forge their own route and create a title strikingly different from what has come before. How’d they do? Hit the jump to find out. 

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Halo 3 fever is sweeping the nation — wait, no … the freakin’ Earth, and Mimoco have revealed some sweet little Spartan flavored flash drives.

These officially licensed flash drives will be available in three limited-edition colors — Master Chief Green (5,000 available), Red Spartan and Blue Spartan (3,000 each). The little guys can now be pre-ordered online, and will be released at E For All in Los Angeles on October 18.

The drives will also come pre-loaded with exclusive content, including: wallpapers, screensavers, unpublished pages from the Marvel comics, and excerpts from the upcoming Halo novel. The USB drive will also contain one exclusive episode of the machinima, "This Spartan Life."

Drives will run you $49.95 for a 1GB model, $69.95 for a 2GB, and $109.95 for 4GB. These will certainly be the most stylish way to transfer user-generated content into the PS3 version of Unreal Tournament III this Holiday season.

Wait … what?

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